LLOG BLOG #18: fA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LAAAA. / December 22, 2016 by Matt Everett

Hap-hap-happy Holidays. Logman Industries has a real treat for you this week to contemplate over the holiday weekend... whichever holiday you would like to celebrate.

Take a deep breath in.... then out.... deep breath in... then out. One more deep breath in.... now yell "HEYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" because here we go...

First, check this out:

Next up, Check this out:

We call this one, "Water Tower with Bushy Tree." HELL yeah!

... more about that one later.

YES! Check THIS one out:

If this artist had been around Italy in the 1560s, there would've been a LOT of fig leaf painters out of business!

RAD! Here is another good one:

Meeting notes from LMI: Seattle offices... Marketing and Numbers Dept.

Cool AND the gang! This is only getting better! Check this out:

The "A H Arthouse." We checked the facts... a bunch of real AHs live here.

BAM! We are freaking out this is so good! Here is one more:

Wrench Knives. TWO options for "fixing the situation."

Stay tuned for a LOGMAN INDUSTRIES: TOP 10 FUNNIEST THINGS LIST from the LMI:Chicago Offices: Cartoon & Humor Specialization Dept. Next week for sure!

This just in from the City of Wind:

Person 1: "who will log?"
Person 2: "YULE log."

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAH

"Yule Log." 2015. LMI: Toronto, ON Studios: Wood & Fire Studies Dept.

That's all. Check LMI out on all the popular thingies: Insta (@logmanindustries), Tweet (@logmanstudio {"@logmanindustries" is too long}) and, of course, check back here on Thursdays for the latest news from Logman Industries on this... the LLOG BLOG!

Also... email us with pics, info, questions, concerns, etc at.... info@logmanindustries.com

Llog Blog #17: Diary of a Madman: Holiday of Fun! / December 7, 2016 by Matt Everett

YES! You've returned! Even after what happened last week. Well, Thanks! And let's just get started. First, check this out!

Yes, the word on the street is that LMI:USA will be soon joining forces with some of our overseas offices and departments to exhibit some of the studio output from the last year. Cool, huh?

In other news, Check this out:

That's the UPS store officially sending the old router from out South Seattle Offices back. We also have the tracking number. Happy Holidays, Centurylink.*

*Centurylink is not a sponsor of Llog Blog, but is the sponsor of this picture:

In other breaking LMI news this week, we had to release three apprentices from our LMI:Chicago, IL: Precision Lines & Shapes Dept for mistaking this poster for "rules of the office:"

Oops for them. It's okay. Within 24 hours, we had replaced them. No problem. and Happy Holidays to them. (both the fired ones and the new ones.)

BETTER NEWS! LMI: Internets & Technology Division is proud to announce a NEW GALLERY and added work to selected gallery's on the LOGMANINDUSTRIES.COM Official Website. Take a spin and see what's new... like this one:

Did you hear about this?!:

Signed prints: Free!  Plastic sleeves: Free! — Signed prints: Free! Plastic sleeves: Free!

YES! the next 100 orders from Logman Industries will receive a FREE SIGNED, STAMPED, AND CERTIFIED "APPROVED" Logman print.

LMI: Commerce Division is working on making shopping on the site live this week. Keep checking in. Also:

The NEW MOON BOOT SERIES of Greeting Cards will be ready to order just in time for the holidays to be over. Rad.

Buy stuff. Don't buy stuff. Here at Logman Industries, we honestly don't give a flying rat's ass.

BAD NEWS: Somebody tagged our parking area at our LMI: Los Angeles, CA Studios:

Oh That's just Billy practicing his ABC's again.

GOOD NEWS: The vandal was caught and immediately hired by the LMI: Typography and Lettering Dept (San Diego, CA).

And there's always parking now in the late morning.

Whatevs, let's get out of the "inside baseball" of the business. Enjoy this for a second:

Nobody at LMI: Athens, GA offices had the good sense to buy this. LMI: Atlanta: Animatronic Holiday Sculpture Department is really pissed.

Here are Three Logs from three LMI offices:

Whatever, we did our job, now you go do yours.

Be sure to check out the new work on the site, check us out on Instagram (Logmanindustries) and Twitter (@logmanstudios) and have a very, very,

very Loggy week.* YES! (thumbs up; mustache man)

*We are required by LMI Intl, Ltd. to say this each week.

LLOG BLOG #16: Begin Again, Beginneghan. / November 27, 2016 by Matt Everett

Okay.

Sorry it's been so long. Let's skip the small talk and get right back to business as usual.

LMI:Big Picture Division: Lincoln, NE started on the "Silo project..."

Apparently, you can see three of these bad boys somewhere in the state of Nebraska currently.

(Logman Industries does not recommend any fact checking.)
(Logman industries also will not make any snarky jokes regarding US media outlets.)

Okay... then we should check in with the October people at LMI: New Orleans Offices... since you missed the big event...

Texas Chainsaw or Halloween... I really don't know

The NO: LMI Department actually finished construction of 30 ft androids of these exact Log Characters...

The MONSTER of Frankenstein. (get off my frickin back, horror purists)

Apparently, things went very wrong when the 30 ft tall androids started getting out of hand crashing into buildings and creating poor air-quality alerts all throughout the region.

Jason, Jason, Get the Basin. Plop. Forget it, get the mop.

Apparently nobody was hurt besides the over 19 people that suffered death from the incomprehensible amount of "Dad Jokes" in the greater area since. The androids have now been decommissioned are stored in an UNBELIEVABLY huge warehouse somewhere in the DC area where they will be cataloged by the US government. It is reported, however, that they "belong in a museum."

NEXT.

That takes care of Thanksgiving and that brings us to the real reason that everyone is checking us out this week... THE NEW MOON BOOT LINE FROM LOGMAN INDUSTRIES!!! HERE IT IS...very, very crappily photographed...

Oh WOW...

The critics were beside themselves for this release... believe me....

Holy CRAP. That was awesome. Well, at least you can get your holiday moon boot cards from LMI in the next 2 weeks... just a bit too late to get them to anyone before New Years. But, ya know what? Frick it! send one anyway because...

... A double rainbow can happen anythime (but is really hard to photograph.)

Last note:

Be nice to everyone you meet ever and go out and do something cool this week and it if you think of it, take a pic and send it to LMI. We will get it up on the LLOG BLOG.

Catch us next week and please have a LOGGY WEEK!*

(Check for LLOG BLOG every Thursday, unless you are in New Zealand... then look for it on Fridays)

*We are required to say this.

This pic was supposed to be way smaller, but the Squarespace wouldn't let us "edit" it.

LLOG BLOG #15: THE ONLY GOOD BLOG IS A LLOG BLOG. / June 24, 2016 by Matt Everett

Welcome to the FIFTEENTH EDITION of the internationally read LLOG BLOG!

In celebration of 15 LLOG BLOGS, let's take a walk down memory lane and visit the "BEST OF LLOG BLOG 2016!"

Oh wow! I remember this one from "Matt: Seattle." **good one!**

The good ol' **Cambodia Ball.** That was funny!

That reminds me... I have to call our **LMI: Merch Dept.** We still don't have any goddamned T-shirts.

**Run DM Cat** was everyone's favorite that week... about 4 weeks ago.

**LMI: Marketing** = pure genius... but still hasn't landed an account. Hmm.

Memory lane is so much fun! This trip was a gift to all of you viewers that have stuck with us all these weeks! Here's to at least TWO MORE WEEKS of this stuff! HEYAAAA!

Onward.

Let's go to LMI VIEWER SEND-INS OF THE WEEK!

This one arrived fresh off of the internet from somewhere in NEW ZEALAND!

Wow! Thanks "CRBpartyboy2016." That is a really nice SEND-IN.

This one was sent in from WESTPORT, WA:

Thanks "Ted Garbage" for this send in... but let's send this one down to LMI DIGITAL PHOTOTECH DEPARTMENT to help you out...

Westport LMI VIEWER, 'Ted Garbage," also mailed this one in..

LMI VIEWER SEND-INS EDITING DEPT warned Ted to not send more than one entry per week, but then decided that this one was too good to pass up...

Thanks "Ted Garbage" for mailing those in. No city mails it in like Westport, WA! Keep it up!

In response to all of your emails, here is another sneak peak in the CRAPPY-GARFIELD CREATOR, JAM DAVIS's Gary, Indiana LMI studios...

"Nobody Cares If I Die. (Wocka. Wocka) (I'm Just A Cartoon Character)." Oil on Canvas. 31-1/2" x 31-1/2." (Incomplete).

While LMI leans on the LMI: Jam Davis Studios to create our edgiest work, we had to wipe out this one before it went too far:

That's a rough one... but let's send this one down to LMI DIGITAL PHOTOTECH DEPARTMENT to help JAM out...

That tech team is the BEST! How do they do that? It's like magic or something!

Anyway, follow LMI on Twitter (@logmanstudio) and on Instagram (@logmanindustries) and you will probably win prizes.*

Last note, Logman Industries wants to encourage everyone to take a minute out this week and tell someone that they are cool. or that they are doing a good job. or that their hair looks nice. Just say something nice. It goes a long way.

(fart noise)**

Still do something GREAT today and have a LOGGY WEEK!***

*You will not win any prizes from LMI. But you might win some prizes from elsewhere. We have no control over that.

**We are contractually obligated to write this.

***We are also contractually obligated to write this.

LLOG BLOG #14: LMI: Shake up in management! OH FUCK! / June 15, 2016 by Matt Everett

Hello! Barry Stronglogg standing in for Matthew Logman for this week's LLOG BLOG. Seem there are some "issues" to work out in the LMI Headquarters that we are not yet talking about.

I'm not accustomed to writing this... so let's just go to the ever-popular LMI: GARY, IN: JAM DAVIS STUDIOS and see what's up...

"Crappy Garfield #845."  oil on canvas. — "Crappy Garfield #845." oil on canvas.

Uh oh! Looks like someone took a philosophy class or two. Is this even finished? (Oh, I'm guessing I'm not supposed to write critiques of our own work here.)

"Everyday.  Every fucking day."  Sketch book. — "Everyday. Every fucking day." Sketch book.

Good job, Jam! (eyes side-to-side, sweating)

Let's move onto the LMI READERS' SEND-INS OF THE WEEK!

This one was sent in from frequent reader "Matt: Seattle"

"Frowny Frittata. it means 'worry.'" — "Frowny Frittata. it means 'worry.'"

WOW! Thanks "Matt: Seattle!" That is very creative. Kiwi's huh? (tie-adjust side-to-side, sweating).

Uh. Let's do another one..

This one was sent in from "DonnyTitLicker101: Cheyenne, Wy." I don't really get it..? This is a picture of an out-of-ground swimming pool on sale at a local box store with a picture of a hot couple enjoying themselves with their new out-of-ground swimming pool on the box. What? Am I missing something? (brow wipe; glance over at producer that seems to say "what the fuck are you feeding me here?")

(**Enter Mitch Hedberg joke here. RIP BTW.)

Let's try one more from frequent-reader and friend "Matt: Seattle" from the great island of Portugal:

"Don't pee at someone pooping in the pool"

Okay! Now I'm getting the hang of this. THAT is FUNNY! Like farting stuff, right! (slight look of relief.)

Our next item is the... Let's pull something from the LMI VAULTS: SUPER-COOL SHIT file...

Okay, that one is pretty cool...?? (Another look of question at producer)

Next one is also from 1982:

"Space Camping in 1982.  Wait, maybe not... 'Rocky IV' came out in 1985.  WTF??!" — "Space Camping in 1982. Wait, maybe not... 'Rocky IV' came out in 1985. WTF??!"

There is a slight chance that this one was drawn in 1985. Just sayin'.

Well, what's next?

Am I doing an okay job with this? Please write in to info@logmanindustries and let me know.

Also, I'm going to tell you to follow us on Twitter @logmanstudio and on Instagram @logmanstudios. You should do it! It will be fun and (gulp) I will get to keep my job.

Here's another reason to follow us... check out this sneak peak into LMI: Research, Development and Artistic Production Offices from Chicago, IL!

Really? That is just lazy. Thanks. That's it. Barry Stronglogg out!

Have a "Loggy" week.*

*We are contractually obligated to say this.

LLOG BLOG #13: A REFRESHING LOOK at some dope shit. / May 19, 2016 by Matt Everett

Yippee! We are almost to June and I'm still signing "2015" on dated documents. Oh well. Time just goes by so fast!* (*Wisconsin mom voice).

As you probably already know, LMI Arts & Innovation Offices: Gary, IN just added to their already ALL-STAR LOG TEAM! Welcome aboard JAM DAVIS! Your "Crappy Garfield" innovations will surely add to the titanic ice-flow of creation constantly pumped from our favorite Indiana office!

Oh, Jam. You are the JAMMIEST!

WHOA! Check this out!: in LMI: AROUND-THE-NEIGHBORHOOD NEWS, this happened this week:

I guess your smile got tossed in a ditch... With this crappy home sign and an empty bottle of cheap vodka.

Well, that's not a very positive message! Let's hit that with a RAINBOW!

SLAM! (Sneak peak of a BIG project in the LMI Artistic Production Dept. More sneakers coming up...)

Feeling better now. Whew!

COINCIDENTALLY, I saw someone wearing this T shirt this week:

And then about 2 days later, I saw THIS:

That is so strange. Don't freak out though! Let's HIT IT WITH A RAINBOW!

BOINK! (Another sneak peak from the LMI: AP&R&D Dept. Ohhhh.)

Meanwhile, This was sent in from long-time LLOG BLOG reader "Matt" from SEATTLE, WA:

If the light bulb on one of these letters goes out, their clientele is going to change DRASTICALLY.

Thanks for that LLOG BLOG SEND-IN, "Matt" from Seattle. Keep us posted! And, you know what? Here's your prize... LMI: AP&R&D Dept...HIT HIM WITH A RAINBOW!:

And, it wouldn't be a LLOG BLOG without this week's LMI MEETING NOTES OF THE WEEK!

Thanks to reader "T. Woodlog" of Bethlehem, PA for this one. Sorry, but we don't have time for any more this week. Please keep sending them in to info@logmanindustries.com and keep on believin'! One day your entry will make it!

HEY! PRETEND IT'S OPPOSITE DAY and DON'T follow us on Instagram (@logmanindustries) and/or Twitter (@logmanstudio). It WON'T be totally worth your time.

Get out there and do something awesome... TODAY! And have a LOGGY week!*

Dance, dance, dance, dance to the Radio!

*We are contractually obligated to say that.

LLOG BLOG #12: TOO MUCH SCREWING AROUND: Checking in with LMI offices. / May 5, 2016 by Matt Everett

(That's Gilda Radner. Squarespace image captions are not functioning right now. *sad trombone)

Holy Moly! Another big week at LOGMAN INDUSTRIES! (with this record, we should have over 100 investors by now!) Let's get it started right now with meeting notes of the week:

LMI: Detroit Offices checking in. Hey! Where is the LOGMAN APPROVED stamp for this?!

LMI: St. Louis Offices: Checking in and WORKING TOO HARD, if you ask me!

LMI: Paris Offices (obviously) checking in. French fish. Or should I say Poussin?

LMI: Seattle Offices: Unresponsive... still stuck in traffic.

Thanks for the many entries this week for "LMI WEEKLY MEETING NOTES." Unfortunately, we only have room for the above this week. Keep sending them in to info@logmanindustries.com... you will get one in there!

In other news, this just in from LMI: Dallas: Marketing and Merch Department:

"Well, Hi, Y'all! You jus' dun dare won't wanna believe what just arriyved hot owf th' presses..."

...the NEW LOGMAN INDUSTRIES GREETING CARDS: BIRTHDAY SERIES." Stay tuned! The LMI on-line store will be opening soon. (and, yes... Fabulous First Five Subscriber's Club will be getting theirs in the mail soon, gratis!)

Enough of that, check this out from the LMI:Cincinnati Creative Production Department this week:

Nobody in the LMI: Boston Creative Production Department knows what they are doing down in Cinci... this conversation was recently reported to LMI: Boston: Human Resources Dept:

Danny: "Well, no rest for the wicked down in Cinci."

Debby: "yeah, more like no rest for the wicked-retaaded!"

Danny: "Debby, how many times do we have to tell you you can't say things like that?"

Hmm. Meanwhile, they have really been PUMPING IT UP in LMI: Atlanta Offices! check this out:

WOW!

Also, LMI: Chicago Offices: Artistic Arts and Production Division is clearly excited that a certain HBO show is back on...

... It's a real GAME OF LOGS in the Windy City this week! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHARDYFUCKINGHARHARHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

And you know how much those LMI: Clevelanders love the ol' pig skin. Their LMI Creative Innovations Dept is currently working on an interesting FOOTBALL-PLAYING FLAPJACK project...

Interesting!

Last, let's go SOUTH OF THE BOARDER and celebrate some CINCO DE MAYO with our amigos in the LMI: Tijuana Creative Research and Development Department:

And that, my friend, is a TIJUANA TRIPLE-PLAY! YES!

Have a great weekend and follow us on Instagram (@logmanindustries) and Twitter (@logmanstudio)!

Do yourself a favor and GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING AWESOME TODAY!

Word to your mom and have a LOGGY day!*

*we are contractually obligated to say that.

LLOG BLOG #11: I Want to Believe: INTERVIEW W ARTIST LEHMAN BIGFOOT / May 1, 2016 by Matt Everett

SPRING is in the air and LOGMAN INDUSTRIES is ALL ABOUT IT! Let's not waste anymore time writing about LMI giving you the BEST INTERNET EXPERIENCE ON THE INTERNET and get right to the reason for this week's (late) LLOG BLOG!

LMI VISITING ARTIST INTERVIEW #3:

LEHMAN BIGFOOT.

INTERVIEW BY DENNY LOGGINS.

I travel far this week, to the Majestic Rocky Mountains in the great heaving, buckled part this vast land we call, "The West". I have heard of an interesting new artist located near Denver CO. His visual artwork represents only one part of his new gestalt. The drawings produced have a voluminous feel to them, seemingly simple sketches recede in dimension, far reaching into gestural based distances of both space and mass. This artist attempts to truly experience his subject in order to move past conventional narratives dealing with the management of "the other". He strives instead to see his subject as himself, and by fusing the subject and observer, to create an experiential based self portrait of sorts. He wants to depict Bigfoot, the mysterious Sasquatch, so he in turn has "become" this Bigfoot, this wild man of forest as seen in the found footage film entitled simply "The Patterson Film".

Thank you for allowing me into your studio today Mr. Bigfoot, may I call you Lehman? (He only stares back at me. I decide to take a few photos while he recovers from his muted fugue.)

1. How long have you BELIEVED?

"For about One Hundred and Thirty One days," (he heavily sighs then makes a snorting noise and sinks back into his weathered studio chair.

2. What is the difference, if any, between "Big Foot" or "Sasquatch." Which is the proper nomenclature in your circle?

"They are not the same thing, because bigfoot is brown and sasquatch is black. Everyone knows that." (He squints at me know, narrowly judging me with his focused glare. I have to admit, the ferocity of this experience is overwhelming.)

(In answer to the second part of this question, he simply makes a low growling noise. And I quote "Rorrroawrrrorgh... ruhhhhr")

3. What is the primary drive behind this movement you have created?

Because I was looking for something. Something that wasn't there. Then I saw the Bigfoot show, and I did the walk, and then I WAS a bigfoot. And now I am a big...foot. (During this answer he gazes out the window, out at some place beyond the horizon, he is searching.. I think I am losing him to the forest).

"A Sunny Walk in the Park."  (Just kidding.  untitled.) — "A Sunny Walk in the Park." (Just kidding. untitled.)

4. Besides brown, what is your favorite color?

Black. Next Question.

5. Most people have some fear of a monster like "Big Foot." Clearly you do not. What are you afraid of?

Black Widows and Sharks, because black windows are poisonous. Once they bite you, you get the poison. You get poisoned. And every time I go to a beach I see spiky things in the water, and they are sharks. And they want to bite you. (He stands, adjusts his hood of Bigfoot fur, and slowly stomps away at this time, giving me a kind of brief questioning sneer over his shoulder as he turns the corner. Just like in the Patterson Film.)

That's one furry dude.  Untitled. — That's one furry dude. Untitled.

WOW! Thanks to Mr. Bigfoot and Mr. Loggins for the great interview! If you want to know more about Lehman Biogfoot's artwork, you will have to search... in the woods. No email, no website, no Instagram, no Twitter. NO NOTHIN!

HOWEVER, LMI is on Instagram (@logmanindustries) and on Twitter (@logmanstudios) and you should CHECK THAT SHIT OUT!

Also, running with the theme of the UNKNOWN, the MYSTERIOUS and the SCARY, the LMI ARCHIVING AND HISTORICAL PRESERVATION DEPARTMENT dug these crazy LMI pieces out of the vaults this week to share with you:

"shit bitch."  LMI 2011  (I'm not sure where this one fits in.) — "shit bitch." LMI 2011 (I'm not sure where this one fits in.)

Ugly weirdo.  1999. — Ugly weirdo. 1999.

Another ugly weirdo.  PUNCHY.  NOW. — Another ugly weirdo. PUNCHY. NOW.

Well, that was RADICAL!

Do something really cool today and, as always, have a LOGGY week!*

*We have to say that.

Logman Industries