LLOG BLOG #26: Pumpkin Flavored... EVERYTHING! / September 30, 2018 by Matt Everett

“Look at us. Here we are. Right where we belong. READING THE LLOG BLOG!” -The Muppets

… And we here at LOGMAN INDUSTRIES are happy to have you! Welcome to LLOG BLOG #26. Though everything around you (news, media, your job, your car, etc…) may seem to be utterly falling apart and melting into a giant blob of crap, we want to assure you that MAYBE IT’S NOT! Take a load off and take a look at some of these soothing images from LLOG BLOG Readers around the world!:

Happy Breakfast Face from Jesse R in Vermont, USA!

Beautiful Little Pepper plants from Matt E in Seattle, WA, USA!

Towel Elephant from Matt H in Seattle, WA, USA!

Well, that was nice. And THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU READERS around the WORLD for sending in those interesting and soothing images. LOGMAN INDUSTRIES thank you. And all the people thank you.

Let’s move right into LOGMAN INDUSTRIES: NEW BUSINESS.

We are excited to announce a new artistic direction for the company, spearheaded from out CHICAGO OFFICES of SPORTS LOG IMAGES AND AESTHETICS (OoSLI&A: Chicago). OoSLI&A: Chicago has been interested in creating nice landscape images (of water towers) with images of athletics-themed log-characters on them. Let’s get a sneak peak at the progress:

Ok… that’s just a picture of a water tower with a clown face on it.

… And that’s just an Arizona water tower saying something.

… And this is just a frickin’ picture of Bjorn Borg and Jimmy Connors. Hmm.

Seems like the LLOG BLOG EDITING TEAM was a bit premature on that report from OoSLI&A: Chicago. That’s okay. They will check back in with them in a few weeks. And they promise to do better next time. (smiley face, thumbs up).

Let’s check in with the LOGMAN INDUSTRIES: LMI EMPLOYEE TEXT CONVO OF THE WEEK! This week’s winner is this little “joke” thread between two siblings that have been working at LMI for around 3-5 years. (They have asked that we not use their real names… so let’s just call the older brother “ME” and the younger smart-ass sister “KB”)

12:04pm: KB: Hey did you hear about the West Virginia QB who got accused of using PEDs?

KB: The urine test came back positive but he didn’t take ANYTHING

ME: …

KB: It’s a classic case of he said pee said

ME: I don’t… OH GOD.

ME: Does anyone have a time machine & a chainsaw?

KB: LOL why? So you can go back in time and cut that killer joke out of my brain and have it for yourself?

ME: So I can go back in time 3 min & cut my head off before I read that joke (smiley sunglasses guy, thumbs up)

5:24pm KB: Are you watching PSU football? Killer catch

KB: Also I still think my joke is hilarious in a vacuum

ME: No football for me today… Did you see the news report about the chimpanzee that escaped the zoo and ran directly to a PortoJohn and locked himself in there?

KB: I didn’t. Please tell me more.

ME: Apparently, MONKEY PEE, MONKEY DOO DOO! OMFGJCLMFAOTTM! (22x Laugh/cry face)

KB: You have got to give my joke credit if that’s what you’re coming up with.

ME: I’m giving you 15% creds on that one. & that’s generous. (Smiley sunglasses guy, peace sign hand)

KB: 15%?!

That was fun. We might do that every week! What do you think, LMI READER? Speaking of which, if you have any questions or comments for ANY of our LMI Departments, please hit us up at info@logmanindustries.com or post a message below this LLOG BLOG area. Also check us out on Instagram at @logmanindustries … it’s guaranteed to be well worth your time.

Our LLOG BLOG Editing Department just realized that the title of this week’s LLOG BLOG mentions pumpkins. Well, we don’t have any pics related to that, so here is a happy cloud to close out this week’s entry:

Do something nice for someone this week. Do something creative this week (like draw a happy cloud). And just try to have a LOGGY WEEK!*

*We are legally obligated to say this.

LLOG BLOG #25: 1/4 x 100 = This! / September 23, 2018 by Matt Everett

Paul Hogan: the richest man in Australia.

Welcome back to the Llog Blog! After a short vacation, the LOGMAN TEAM is back and better than ever. We would like to take a minute to catch you up on the last few months before we get to the current issues. Let’s start here:

Even this scary lemon-dude couldn’t scare me into getting this ice cream flavor. GROSS! However, it should be noted that the graphics are LOGMAN APPROVED!

Next, it should be noted that I had a dream last night about a person skating around in MOON-BOOT ROLLER SKATES. (sorry, no images available for that one. Wait… let me check on Google… Nope. Nothin’)

Next, Let’s look at the LOGMAN INDUSTRIES FAILED PROJECT OF THE WEEK (from a few months ago):

Source Material: Raphael’s painting…can’t remember the name. I’ll look in the book later.

We started a division to mimic famous paintings in paintings of water towers, which we were painting in paintings. Why? Because we thought it would look cool.

Well, it didn’t:

Logman Industries oil painting, 29” x 35”

As it turns out, it’s not easy to paint like Raphael. Hmm.

All is not lost… Throw a Logman on it:

This one will be finished soon. Stay tuned for updates.

Oooh. And check out next week’s Llog Blog where LMI will attempt to paint like Caravaggio. That should work out even better!

In other Logman News, Logman Industries Intl designed and printed a poster for INTERNATIONAL CLASH DAY 2018! It was a few months ago, but it was on display at KEXP in Seattle, WA for a few months. It might still be there. Here is a photo of one of the botched prints. (“INT’L” is what it should say.) Thanks to INDEPENDENCE PRINTAGE for making the prints go!

Regarding Paul Hogan: He is NOT the richest man in Australia. Logman Reps were at a recent fantasy football draft and mentioned that Paul Hogan was still rich from the CROCODILE DUNDEE movies and were viciously, verbally attacked for suggesting that he was the RICHEST man in Australia. Well, he’s not. And the FFL team picked that night is 0-3. Whatever.

Okay, to current issues… Yesterday (Saturday 9/22) one of our LMI representatives was on a construction site and, thinking that there was no one else on the site, walked up to the HONEY BUCKET and opened the UNLOCKED DOOR. To the LMI rep’s SEVERE DISMAY, there in the temporary toilet stood a giant bearded man with a parka on with his sweat pants down to the ground. Full frontal nudity. The affected LMI Rep also reported that “it didn’t smell good either.”

Thank you for returning to the LLOG BLOG and please check us out next week for more news from the forefront of the cutting edge of the art/culture industry. LOGMAN INDUSTRIES!

(Also, follow @logmanindustries on Instagram. It’s fun. We promise. We guarantee it.)

Be cool and have a Loggy Week!*

*we are still contractually obligated to say that.

LLOG BLOG #24: You like LEGOS? Try LOGGOS! / May 15, 2017 by Matt Everett

Happy belated Arbor Day 2017 (4-28). Awesome!

Log in and buckle your safety belt, because we here at LOGMAN INDUSTRIES: LLOG BLOGG AND SOCIAL MEDIA DIVISION are taking it to a NEW LEVEL this week.

First, you've been seeing a lot from Jam Davis on the Monday Instagram posts, but here is some other cat cartoon stuff about town:

Also Crappy Garfield: Thanks Cha Cha Lounge in Seattle's Capital Hill neighborhood for posting this.

Thanks for the send in ShrimpyTrash! Rumor has it that a later frame shows Alf giving Garfield "services." Good stuff.

Thanks SeattleMatt for the send-in. It's hard to believe that you still haven't been able to sell even one of these.

Frickin A, though... Check this out:

This drawing inspired by EVERYTHING today. Well, tomorrow will probably be better, right?

Let's turn it around and feature these special items:

That's just great. How about this one:

That one is HIGH QUALITY ART! YES!

Do you like stamps? How about these stamps?

Speaking of good art!...

Nice Crab blob.

Okay, that's it for this week. Check LMi out on Instagram blah blah blah.

Have a loggy week.*

*Legally obligated to say that since 1983! WHAM!

LLOG BLOG #23: When I'm back on my feet again: the return of the llog. / April 30, 2017 by Matt Everett

Welcome Back, LOGMAN INDUSTRIES! One might ask, "WHERE IN THE SAM-SHIT HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THREE FUCKING MONTHS?!"

Well, I'll tell you where. Europe.

Anyway, we would be totally remiss if we weren't to honor the most famous Chicagoan on earth attached to the number 23...

Danny Logbarn.  Go, Danny!  Go! — Danny Logbarn. Go, Danny! Go!

It's been awhile, so let's catch up really quickly:

That is a free couch, currently available just outside of the LMI: Seattle Creative Offices headquarters. Then there is this:

Kale Face! Kale Face.  It's not about a celery, it's all about reality. — Kale Face! Kale Face. It's not about a celery, it's all about reality.

And you must catch up on this:

Jam's office will be posting an instagram of Crappy Garfield every Monday for the year 2017... or until LMI gets sued. We promise that they will be better than this one. Whatever. Check it out on Instagram at @logmanindustries.com. You won't be displeased.

And let's get you some LOG ART STAT:

Pumpkin Head Logman.  Not scary. — Pumpkin Head Logman. Not scary.

Pumpkin Logman + weaponry.  Scarier. — Pumpkin Logman + weaponry. Scarier.

1978 Burt Reynolds Thursday rock: Very Scary.

you couldn't pay me to sit here.  #Scariest doll in the world. — you couldn't pay me to sit here. #Scariest doll in the world.

Sorry we don't have time to writ a whole lot this week. LMI is very busy trying to roll out the new LOGMAN INDUSTRIES SPRING LINE of log-based stuff that our creative writing and online media dept just doesn't have much time for this.

Next week we will though... so check it out next week. You'll be happier than a UNI-WHEELER wheeling past GRUMPY D'S!

Have fun and don't be an asshole this week. Get on Instagram and look at @logmanidustries. Screw Twitter. We don't do anything good on there anyway.*

*Just kidding Twitter. We love you.

Okay. that is officially it for LB#23. Be cool and have a loggy week.**

**We are contractually obligated to say this.

LLOG BLOG #22: Lucky 22, BABY! Clowning Around Town. / January 18, 2017 by Matt Everett

If you are looking for GREAT CONTENT, but also want to find INFORMATIVE ENTERTAINMENT, you are in a real CATCH 22...

Unless you get your ass to the LLOG BLOG! YES! You have landed in the right place.

If you have a job and are at work this week, we encourage you to take a break during the day and do some WORK DRAWINGS!

Let's take a look at what was done this week:

Thanks for the send-in, Dave Loggrave from the LMI: Orlando: Accounting Dept. And HEY, GET BACK TO WORK.*

*Just kidding, Dave. You are doing a great job. But please... PLEASE, stop tucking your sweat shirt into your sweat pants in public:

Moving on, Here are some CLOWN LOGS from our LMI:Sacramento,CA: Creative Commentary Dept:

WOW! Nice work! We liked it so much, the Board voted to hand this project over to the EXPERTS at the LMI:TAMPA,FL: Clown Log Research and Development Laboratories! Let's see what they pumped out in the last 24...

WOW! More IS better!

They are really laying the ground work for some SERIOUS CLOWN LOGGING out there in Tampa Bay. Keep up the good work, Clown Loggers!

By the way, This was handed to us today in the street:

Consider us warned. Thanks.

Finally, This week our LMI:Hartford,CT: Investigative Research Division purchased new LED-lighted MAGNIFYING GLASSES for all department employees:

Like LOGMAN INDUSTRIES on all the stuff ( @logmanindustries = Instagram; @logmanstudio = Twitter...) And as usual...

HAVE A LOGGY WEEK.*

*We are contractually obligated to say this.

LLOG BLOG #21: What the Frick? / January 12, 2017 by Matt Everett

Yes! January is the BEST MONTH for LLOG BLOGs! The last couple of Llog Blogs have been good... but like Viper (Tom Skarritt), "we'll make (them) better."

First, you might have missed this in this week's Instagram posts (@logmanindustries):

Well, now you DIDN'T miss it!

How about this one:

Meeting Notes: LMI: Portland, OR Offices

So many meetings, so little time.

Oh WOW! Speaking of that, LMI: Chicago, IL: Large Object Carrying Dept would like to recognize the LMI EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK!

Congrats, Cookie! Good job and don't let the bastards grind you down!

Next up: Reader's mail:

Thanks to reader's Wyatt and Liam from Denver, CO for the GREAT send-ins! We are still reviewing applications, but may have openings at our LMI: Denver, CO: Trees&Hearts Dept very soon and will be in contact then.*

*Please ask your dad to stop calling.

Meanwhile: this scribble was found in a work van in Seattle, WA recently. Photo'd and sent in by loyal Logmanian Tootles McDonalds:

Thanks, Tootles! (LMI doesn't know how this relates, but his dad is a major sponsor, so we are required to publish his send-ins.)

Speaking of thanks, We would like to thank everyone for everything.

GREAT! Let's take a sneak peak into the studios of the LMI:Roanoke, VA: Creative Arts and Beyond Dept :

Dinosaurs.  Yeah, we can do that. — Dinosaurs. Yeah, we can do that.

We will have to see where this output will fit into the Logman Industries product line(s). Rough outlines already sent to our LMI: NYC: Content and Context Division and LMI: Paris, FR: La Contente Departmentee.

Good luck, ye crazy Virginians!

Last item of business for this week:

...If you get the fucking Sunday newspaper delivered to your house every weekend and you live next door to somebody, please for the love of all that is fucking good on this planet, either pick it up and read it, or pick it up and recycle it.

And THAT's... one to grow on!

Like and follow Logman Industries on all the shit and please, please HAVE A LOGGY DAY.*

*We AREN't actually contractually obligated to say this.**

**OMG!  Just kidding LMI: Legal Dept!  Yes, we ARE contractually obligated to say this! — **OMG! Just kidding LMI: Legal Dept! Yes, we ARE contractually obligated to say this!

LLOG BLOG #20: Learning to Draw with Matthew Logman: the Journey / January 4, 2017 by Matt Everett

Happy New Years from Logman Industries!

Well, you requested it... so here it is! Logman Industries is going to TEACH YOU HOW TO DRAW this week! YES!

"First I'll teach you to use this..." (tap finger on his noggin.)

"...Then I'll teach you to use *this.*" (point to sword.)

Unlike William Wallace's weird uncle, we're not going to teach you to use either of those. LMI is going to start with the basics and help you to become a PROFESSIONAL DRAWER in no time at all.

First, check out this pic we found of....

...Crappy Braveheart. LMI:Kansas City: Facts Dept checked the facts on this one... this model actually did play bass for the band "Trixter."

Anyway, Let's get into it. Wherever you are, grab these things...

Okay, now make some marks for a grid and draw a square with your pencil. This is important to keep things in the proper ratio as we move you through this process.

Now grab your pen and start drawing a circle-loop-type line thing.

You are getting it now... let's skip ahead to the side branch thingy...

If you use your left hand, we recommend you do the left side first.

Good Job! Next, work on the two eyes...

Be careful not to accidentally draw three (3) eyes. That is embarrassing.

However, if you do, just measure over and scribble that thing out!

Let's check back in with the left-handed cam:

Moving things along... Draw the mouth, tongue (optional), skinny legs and feet (2-3), then let's get to the most challenging part... step by step:

Okay, almost finished and you are probably doing GREAT! *HEY! If yours doesn't look like a PRO LOGMAN INDUSTRIES DRAWING right away, don't worry! Keep practicing...

Onward:Finish it off with your own expressive flare...

Maybe some expressive lightning bolts...

Once you finish, scan and send your drawing to info@logmanindustries.com! We stamp and LOGMAN APPROVE almost 125% of the drawings we get every year!

Okay, put the pen and pencil and ruler down. Go take a nap. You are exhausted.

Leave the production to us. LMI doesn't get tired. LMI does not sleep. It just keeps PRODUCING AND APPROVING.

Sweet dreams and don't forget to befriend us on Instagram @logmanindustries and on Twitter @logmanstuios. Also, keep it real.

HAPPY 2017!

HAVE A LOGGY DAY*

*We are contractually obligated to say this. Added 1-6-17. (Sorry!)

LLOG BLOG #19: Good Bye 2016: Whatever. / December 28, 2016 by Matt Everett

Well, there you go. See you later 2016.

We checked the facts, and many are saying that 2016 wasn't too great of a year. Though Logman Industries agrees with this a little bit, we want to spotlight some of the better and brighter things that happened this year.

First, Let's check this out:

WOW! Now THAT'S a Canadian Jumbo. NOOICE! Let's take another look...

Here's another good thing that happened in 2016:

Here are a few other things on the LMI radar:

A SHIT LOAD of Polaroids of dogs at a beer store! WOW!

That is positive... Positively RADICAL!

Now let's see what our LMI: NYC offices sent in for a 2016 recap:

...Okay, let's hear it from LMI: Chicago offices:

... say, that reminds me... wasn't the LMI: Chicago, IL offices supposed to send in a TOP 10 FUNNIEST THINGS List for this week. We will be checking back in with them.

LMI: Athens, GA Offices, what you got?

LMI: Paris?

Okay, last one... LMI: Seattle, WA:

Okay, okay, okay. New week LMI promises to GET HAPPY and hit you with some POSITIVITY!

Maybe LMI: Chicago offices will deliver on their promise... stay tuned and see!

Until then, visit LMI on Instagram @logmanindustries and on Twitter @logmanstudios. Both are rad.

If you have any questions or concerns, or cool pictures, please send to info@logmanindustries.com.

Keep it real LOGGY and have a LOGGY NEW YEAR!

Logman Industries